she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
