What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
