I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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