There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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