i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
