VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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