Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
