I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize