I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
