he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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