k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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