I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
