I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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