she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
