ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
