Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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