It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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