so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
