Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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