I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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