Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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