My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
