porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
