i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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