Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
