Do you still have your period?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
