I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dignity is for republicans.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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