I just pynch a tree in the face
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
