you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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