That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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