I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
