Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
