Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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