He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize