Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
