When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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