Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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