Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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