my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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