Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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