I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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