If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize