fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize