You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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