So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
