Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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