Have you finally orgasmed yet?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
