just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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