He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
