Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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