Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
