Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
