margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize