We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you're hired as official boob wrangler
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
